Something that I have learned along my journey with Lil' Chris, is that I am so much more capable than I ever thought I was. The Lord has really given me the strength to get through and to do certain things.
For instance...I went to an outing the other day with some fellow CF moms and we got to talking. One mom said that...well, I can't remember her exact words and I hope I don't get this wrong and offend anyone, but she implied something like she has a hard time doing fundraisers and such, b/c it brings up "things". I'm sure other CF moms out there know what I am talking about. We do our daily routines of enzymes, vitamins, Vest, and for most nebs, but that's what it becomes...a "routine". Then when we do fundraisers and have to talk about what's REALLY going on with our child/children...that's when it gets "real" again. We all get this from time to time where we come back to reality and go "Whoa, my kid really does have the horrible life threatening disease!"
So anyway, this CF mom tells me that she is a fan of my blog and knew who I was as soon as she saw me. I had never met her before and never knew she was a fan of my blog...it's nice to have fans;) I felt like such a celeb;-) LOL Anyways...she knows from my blog that I do a lot of fundraisers, so she asks me "How do you do it? It's hard for me, b/c it brings it back to reality for me."
I proceeded to tell her that it's hard for me too at times. Sometimes when I do my CiCi's events and I go around to all the tables and talk to all the guests about my son, and all he has to do, and his life expectancy is only 37... it gets to me and I start to tear up. That's usually when I try to walk away and those are the people who usually end up donating more. I don't do it on purpose, but sometimes when you are saying stuff and the people you are talking to look at their healthy kids sitting next to them...you can just see it in their eyes that they are thankful that their children don't have CF. That gets to me, b/c I WISH I could think the same. I WISH my son didn't have a life threatening disease. I WISH I didn't have to do ANY fundraising.....but I do, and I do it for my son and all CFers.
To get back to my point...For the most part, I can talk about CF to anyone at anytime and it not bother me. Sometimes people look at me like "Wow, how are you able to talk about it so freely like it's nothing?" Well, I surely don't think it's nothing, but for some reason I can. I think God gave me this special ability, b/c he knew I was going to have Lil' Chris someday. He knew that I was going to have to fund raise for his life. He knew that I could handle it. I never understood why I could talk about hard or sad things like it's nothing . . . until I had Lil' Chris.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that this is how all CF moms are or should be. This is just how God made me and He is using me to get the word out there about Cystic Fibrosis. It's through the strength of God that I can do it and am able to do it!
Just curious...any other CF moms or CFer's out there feel that they have this special ability too??
M
PS. We just got to 17,000 hits today!! Woo Hoo!! Thanks everyone who reads this blog and passes it along. I greatly appreciate it! BTW...Hi Melissa;-) LOL
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4 comments:
WOW...I teared up just reading this!!!! As I do most times when I read something about Chris' routines and life expectancy. God knew I wasn't strong enough...but He certainly has blessed you. He has not only blessed you in your character and strength, but He has blessed you with 2 beautiful, loving, and very special children! Oh yeah, and my brother ;)
Keep up the great work...by the way, I Love the picture!!!! priceless!
great post!! God did give you that special gift. I've talked with multiple parents that feel the same way as the CF Mom you mentioned. And sometime's I've never understood exactly why they won't participate in the fundraising events. I think to myself...but you are helping to find a cure for your child, so why not? But then I have to take a step back and "realize" the "reality".
I'm like you...I can talk about CF to anyone at anytime and it not really bother me. I speak at so many events, to so many companies, board members, etc...and I do a really really good job at it. I'm not trying to brag...my point in saying this is that I truly believe God gave me this special "gift" : to be able to speak about CF and my testimony/ story like I do. I was an extremely shy kid and never could get up in front of people. I never dreamed I would do this one day. And I'm very grateful for this gift and love doing it.
Anyway....I think you are awesome and I love so much how you have taken a stand with CF and are fighting for a Cure...you "jumped" immediately into the CF Community and fundraising world, and I think that is awesome.
I am grateful for people like you who make up for people like me. Right now, I am blessed with the gift of avoidance :)
I am also grateful that people in the CF community are understanding and accepting of all of the many different ways we deal (emotionally) with the CF in our lives. There is no one else in this world who can understand more than a fellow CF parent. It is important to remember that there is no right or wrong as long as we are putting our children's care and health first. Even then, we do the best we can and leave the rest to God - or all those people really good at fundraising (heehee). I'll get there someday.
-Melissa
Yeah M, you are the strength of many many moms and dads, sisters and brothers and through it all you have grown and so have all your fans....just love this blog, your stories, your aches, tears, love, fighting and strength - you are an amazing AMAZON woman lol.....and we all love you for it...thank you so much for sharing all the time. Charm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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