Our First Trip to the Pediatrician

For the first part of our story, click these...
1. The Beginning of it All
2. The Nagging Begins
3. The Nagging Continued
4. The Phone Call
5. Our Options
6. The News
7. The Best News Ever!
8. The Big Question
9. Sharing the Good News
10. It's Baby Time!!
11. The Birth Part 1
12. The Birth Part 2: Happy Birthday Lil' Chris!!

Last time, I left off when Lil' Chris was born, so here are the first couple of weeks following...

The whole time we were in the hospital after he was born, they kept saying he was doing great! He was eating and peeing and pooping like any other baby. They told us that one sign of CF is when they don't poop and then problems arise, but he had no problem with that. So of course we only thought the best, thinking and hoping and praying that he didn't have CF.

When we finally went home, he was so peaceful and quiet. He was even quiet when he was born, he barely cried! A week went by like nothing was wrong. Then we got a phone call saying that they only found one mutation of the CF gene. Which meant he was only a carrier. So of course we were relieved, but they still wanted us to make an appointment with the CF Clinic for some reason. So the earliest appointment I could get was in another 2 weeks.

Then another week went by. I started to notice that he was hungry A LOT and pooping A LOT! It seemed as though he would still be hungry as soon as I just got done feeding him! And then when I was putting him in the outfit that he wore home from the hospital, it seemed a lot bigger on him than it did 2 weeks ago. They always say that babies tend to lose weight, so I thought maybe that was why. Then we got another phone call saying that the lab messed up the first time. They actually found 2 mutations. But they wouldn't tell us anything more than that. They just said to keep the appointment we had scheduled at the CF Clinic and they would explain everything there. So, we still weren't sure if he had CF or not. We hadn't done a lot of research on it yet, b/c we wanted to believe that there was nothing wrong with our baby.

The next day, we went to the pediatrician for his 2 week check up. The nurse weighed him and everything, and then we waited for the doctor to come in. When she did, she asked us lots of questions. I told her how he is always hungry and then she asked how many times a day he was pooping. We said like 10. The look on her face....I knew something was wrong. She practically ran out the door, leaving us to wonder what was wrong. Then she flew back in asking us if we could go to the CF Clinic in about an hour. Chris and I looked at each other like "Why? What's wrong with our baby, he seems fine?" We said "I guess", but it takes about an hour to get there, so we had to go straight from there. I asked her what the problem was, and she said that he shouldn't be pooping that many times a day. Of course as new parents, we had no clue. We just thought all babies pooped a lot! She also said that he had lost over a pound in weight since he was born, which was also a sign of CF. I came right out and asked her before we left, if she thought he had CF, she didn't really give an answer...which scared the crap out of us! Before we walked out, she looked at us and said, "I can't believe how well you guys are taking this!" We just looked at each other like "Taking what? You haven't told us anything! We don't know what's going on!"

So, we rushed out of there and off to the hospital we went. We didn't know what to think. I just remember Chris calling his family and me calling my sister D and telling her to pray and to call my dad and tell him to pray that nothing was wrong and that he doesn't have CF. But deep down, Chris and I knew something must be wrong if the doctor was panicking and made us rush to the hospital.

I think we were just both numb and didn't say much the whole loooooong ride there.
M

The Birth Part 2: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIL' CHRIS!!

For the first part of this story, click these...
1. The Beginning of it All
2. The Nagging Begins
3. The Nagging Continued
4. The Phone Call
5. Our Options
6. The News
7. The Best News Ever!
8. The Big Question
9. Sharing the Good News
10. It's Baby Time!!
11. The Birth Part 1

So I got the epidural, which is what I was always dreading...it's a BIG needle! But it wasn't bad at all. I've always been good with needles. He said I did a great job holding still while he was putting it in and I was having a contraction at the same time. It seemed to take the pain away pretty quick so I could relax for a little.

One hour later, at noon, they checked me again. This time I was 10 cm and ready to start pushing. "That epidural works fast!" is what I thought! So they made me rest for a while before pushing. At around 1 or 2pm, I started pushing and pushing and pushing!! Yeah, that lasted for about 3 hours or so and the epidural wore off after the first half hour of pushing. He came back and gave me more, but it still wore off pretty quick. I think he didn't give me a lot, b/c he saw how well I could take the pain. I wanted to feel nothing since I got it, but oh well.

At around 5pm, my doctor came in and had me keep pushing. It seemed as though progress was finally being made once she got there. Why they had me push for 3 hours before she got there, is beyond me. I don't think it did much. Oh well.

When she checked me, she said that she thought he might be upside down and that if the vacuum doesn't work, they would have to do a C section. I REALLY DIDN'T want a C section. So, we had to wait for the pediatrician to get there, then I would deliver. At the time I didn't really understand why she wanted to wait for the pediatrician, but I guess she was just being cautious b/c she knows what can happen to some babies born with CF. Luckily we didn't have any of those problems, other than sucking out meconium from his mouth.

So the pediatrician finally got there and it was time!! I thought to myself...I better push really hard b/c I do NOT want a C section! So I did, and after a few good pushes and with the help of the vacuum, our precious Lil' Chris was born at 5:44pm on June 6th 2007!! He weighed in at 7 lbs. 9 1/2 oz, and 19 inches long.

Today is his first birthday and he is 21 3/4 lbs, and over 29 3/4 inches long!! Yea!! What a GREAT first year!! He has brought soooooo much joy into our lives. We are so thankful to have him.

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY

Lil' Chris!!

WE LOVE YOU!!
Love,
Mommy and Daddy

The Birth Part 1

For the first part of this story, click these...
1. The Beginning of it All
2. The Nagging Begins
3. The Nagging Continued
4. The Phone Call
5. Our Options
6. The News
7. The Best News Ever!
8. The Big Question
9. Sharing the Good News
10. It's Baby Time!!

So I'm in labor, the hospital doors are locked........I look at my husband and said "Oh no! They're closed, we're too early!" He looked at me and said "They don't close!" Then we both looked inside and the lady behind the desk saw us and buzzed us in. I felt pretty stupid after that. The lady told us that they have the maternity ward on lock down, b/c some girl who just had a baby thought that her ex-boyfriend was going to try to come and take her baby or something. Chris and I exchanged a look that was like "Oh Great!" But nothing ever happened, it was just a pain when Chris would try to get back in, after running to the car for me every now and then. Thanks Honey:)

So, we got all checked in and finally got to our room at about 7:30 or so. After I put my gown on, they checked me and I was already 4 cm dilated. They asked if I wanted an epidural right now, and I said it wasn't that bad and I could wait. We had a really nice nurse who stayed with us pretty much the whole time. She of course had to ask a million question! I or Chris would answer her, or she would wait until a contraction was done, then I would answer her. She was pretty nice and patient about it. I could've talked through the pain, b/c like I said, they weren't really that painful, but I decided she could wait. This was MY day and I could do whatever I wanted!! LOL : )

By the time she finished all the paperwork and hooking me all up to machines, it was time to check me again. It was about 11:00am and I was 7cm this time. She again asked if I wanted an epidural yet. I still was going back and forth about having it, since I could deal with the pain. I've had lots of stomach pains my whole life, so that's why these labor pains didn't seem that bad to me I guess:). The nurse was so shocked that I didn't once make a sound or really even show my pain that much. I would just breathe through the pain slowly. She said that I was her quietest and best patient ever! That was nice of her to say. They probably tell everyone that though;)

Once my doctor came in to check on me, she said that it was her anniversary today and that she had plans that night and that she had to leave between 5 and 6pm. So I of course was like "Oh Great!" I really didn't want any other doctor to deliver my baby, b/c she is really gentle and great. Plus she knows our whole situation with the possibility of CF. So, I decided to go ahead with the epidural to speed things up so I would deliver before my doctor had to leave.

It's Baby Time!!

For the first part of this story, click these...
1. The Beginning of it All
2. The Nagging Begins
3. The Nagging Continued
4. The Phone Call
5. Our Options
6. The News
7. The Best News Ever!
8. The Big Question
9. Sharing the Good News

Sorry it's been so long since I've continued our story, but here we go...

I'm going to skip ahead 9 months, b/c I'm sure you don't want to hear about how I lost 10 lbs in my first 3 months of pregnancy from throwing up pretty much everything, and then continued throwing up off and on throughout the rest of the 9 months.

Well, on Wednesday, June 6th 2007, (which my husband and I both happen to have off work that day;)I awoke at 5:30am and started to get a little cramping. I didn't really think anything of it, b/c my due date wasn't for another week! So I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't. So I figured I'd go pee for the 5th time(nothing new) and try to go back to sleep. But instead of peeing(sorry, I know this is gross;), my water broke! Thankfully it didn't happen in bed or on my way to the bathroom. Although it would have been funny watching my husband clean it up:) LOL

I didn't know what to do, b/c I didn't want to wake my husband up. It was his day off, the only time he gets to sleep in. Somehow, it was like he knew what was going on. He made the kissing sound we always do to see if the other is awake to talk or to see where they are in the house and stuff. Once he did that, I was so relieved. I wanted to see his face when I told him, but I just blurted it out..."I think my water just broke!!" He hopped up and said "For real?" I said "I think this is it! Good thing we both have off today, b/c we are having a baby today!!"

So he started asking me a million questions, and then started getting ready to go to the hospital. Like I've said before, good thing I'm a lot like my Dad. I had EVERYTHING all ready to go...my bags, the car seat, my checkoff list, etc.(see just like my Dad). Only thing I had to do was take a shower and get dressed. I was getting contractions about 3-4 min apart, but they weren't that bad. I figured it would take all day before I delivered and the nurses probably wouldn't let me eat anything, so I asked Chris to go get me something for breakfast so I would at least have something in my stomach to last me all day. BIG MISTAKE!!! I barely ate it, and it made me throw up about 3 or 4 times at the hospital. Talk about dumbest move ever! How embarrassing too. Oh well, now we know for next time:)

So, by the time I got out of the shower, the contractions were about 2-3 min apart. They still weren't that bad to me, don't get me wrong, they were definitely painful. I always thought that it would be really really painful. I got dressed and then I kinda wanted to wait a little before leaving, b/c they weren't that bad. But Chris said "Let's just go. They are coming really close together." So, I gave in after a few minutes and we left. On the way there, I was saying "The bumps it the road ARE kind of painful." I always wondered about that b/c you always see it in the movies:) Luckily the hospital was only 2 miles away.

As we were walking in the front doors, I had to wait for my husband to get off the phone(of course) before we entered the maternity ward (he is ALWAYS on the phone!) I was kinda mad since I was the one in labor and in PAIN!!! Luckily he didn't take too long. Once we got there, we tried to go into the doors and they were locked!!

Sharing the Good News

For the first part of this story, click these...
1. The Beginning of it All
2. The Nagging Begins
3. The Nagging Continued
4. The Phone Call
5. Our Options
6. The News
7. The Best News Ever!
8. The Big Question

We wanted to tell the whole world the good news, but that's not how Chris and I do things. We like to wait for special occasions to share big news. So around my dad's birthday, we called him and my sister D up and told them the good news. They were very excited, as were we. I thought it would be a nice birthday present for my dad. Which it was.
Then Chris and I decided to wait until Thanksgiving to tell his family since they were coming out to visit us. Plus, it is always better to tell good news in person if you can, and it was only a month away. The longest month EVER! But the day finally came and I still had to wait. We decided we would wait until Thanksgiving dinner to tell them. So, like Steph said in her comment, I asked their son what he was thankful for and then proceeded around the rest of the table. Then it came to us, and we kinda froze. We had been waiting so long to tell them and now it's here and .... we didn't know how to come out and say it. You would think it would be easy, right?
So, we went back and forth looking at each other saying we were thankful for family and the list went on and on .... and then we said that we were thankful that the Lord provided us with this nice house to raise a family in. And of course by this time, I'm sure they all knew what we were about to say. Then Chris said that he was thankful that the Lord blessed us with a new addition to the family. At first, it was almost like they didn't hear what he said, or they were in shock. Then Steph's husband said "Uh hello? They're pregnant!" Then Steph blurted out "Your pregnant?" We were grinning from ear to ear of course waiting in anticipation for their reactions. It took his dad a little to catch on, b/c come on, what guy would be listening to all the thank yous, when he has a big turkey sitting in front of him : )
So, of course they all congratulated us and gave us hugs and kisses. Next thing I knew, before we even finished eating, Chris' mom got her cell phone and said "Here you gotta tell Mom mom(Chris' grandmother) the good news." She was on speaker phone so it was kinda hard for her to hear us. We tried to tell her, then she started talking about all the pies she made for Thanksgiving. We were all cracking up. I felt so bad. She was probably wondering why we were all laughing. I think we tried to tell her again and she still didn't hear. But eventually we got through to her. She was very excited to be a Great Grandma again.
Later that day, we called everyone else and told them the good news. Needless to say, it was a very exciting day. One I'll never forget.
M

Nagging? Me?

So apparently I have a rep... would that it could be a cool one my kids would be excited about... sadly though, it is simply that I am a nagging older sis. That's fine! I can take it! I don't have to be "cool".... Wah!

No, no, I'm just kidding!! It's so hard to be funny when you're typing!

Actually, I am unapologetically - well, that's not quite true...I'm a compulsive apologizer (one of these days I'll get some therapy for that) - so let's just say I'm well known for being a very persistent chick (sounds better than nagging) to my collegues, my kids, my hubby & my lil sis. When I really believe something is important I won't stop until I get the result I'm looking for. I even annoy myself sometimes. =) Just in case you're wondering, I am currently nagging M about a new scenario which perhaps we'll reveal later on. She's probably thinking "thank God for the miles between us" a saying our Grandmother is supposed to have used often when my Mom was a kid. =)

Back to the real story, I was so excited when M called to tell me she was pregnant! I thought she was pulling my leg at first. After all, I had just seen her for a whole week in Florida! Sure enough though, she started asking me about symptoms & I knew she was serious. Isn't it awesome when you see God's hand so evidently at work in someone's life?! Just when they thought their chance for having children of their own had passed, God showed them who is really in control. Even though I'm sure they couldn't comprehend the plan He had for them at that time they embraced it & continued on in faith! How awesome is that? Their experience has touched so many people, not the least of which is our family. We are behind them 100% & so proud to see all they are doing for their beautiful son!

Anyway, that day M & I had an excited little conversation about "morning sickness" & pregnancy symptoms. Since both of us had experienced miscarriages with our first pregnancies I knew the fears she would be feeling with her second one. How each little difference you feel makes you wonder if everything is okay. Despite that, we were still so excited! This was it! God was answering her prayers! Little did we know that shortly after our conversation, morning sickness would turn into a pregnancy long puke fest for M. I felt so bad for her!! It was the dreaded experience our Mom told us about all our lives. I hope for M's sake it doesn't happen with each of her pregnancies like it did to our Mother. She really handled it like a trooper though!! I know I couldn't have done it & continued working & doing all the things she did during that time. I felt bad bugging her about getting the help the doctors had offered to prepare them for the possiblity of a CF child. It just seemed like a good thing to do to be prepared & informed. I completely understood though why M & Big Chris didn't feel it was necessary. They just felt like it wouldn't matter. If their long awaited miracle child were to have CF they'd take it in stride & figure it out. I admire them for that but...I still nagged...=)

The BIG Question

For the first part of this story, click these...
1. The Beginning of it All
2. The Nagging Begins
3. The Nagging Continued
4. The Phone Call
5. Our Options
6. The News
7. The Best News Ever!

D mentioned in her comment that she wanted me to elaborate a little more on my story of when we found out we were pregnant. So here it goes......
My first reaction to seeing the + sign was "NO WAY!!" I think I took like 5 double takes and still said "NO WAY!! It can't be true." We weren't even really trying that month, because I was worried about getting pregnant right before vacation to Disney. I wanted to make sure I could go on all the rides. So I thought, this can't be true. That means that I was pregnant in Disney when I went on like every ride! Of course, I was worried, so I asked D if she thought that it was ok. I think I asked the Doctor when I went on October 18th 2006 to confirm the pregnancy too. The Doctor said I was 6 weeks pregnant. We couldn't believe it still, even though we kinda knew already. She said everything looked fine. I told her that right before our visit was the first time I had thrown up. And in Burger King of all places! So gross!! That was the start of many more mornings and days like that one for the rest of the 9 months. Yuk!
Oh yeah, and some signs that I had that I was pregnant was sore nipples, of course, and my feet would be burning hot in the shower even when the water wasn't that hot. Weird. This stuff only happened less than one week before I took that test, so I didn't think anything of it until I saw the +. Then things started clicking in my head. "Oh, so that's why! Duh!"
So, anyway, at the doctors visit, we were very happy that my blood pressure was normal. When I went to confirm my first pregnancy, my blood pressure was very, very high. They all thought that I was anxious or nervous because it was my first pregnancy. Maybe that was a sign right there that something was wrong with that pregnancy. I had miscarried before my next appointment. So, when my blood pressure was fine this time, we were very excited. We knew the Lord had great plans for the future. Which brings me to the big question the doctor had for us, since she knew that we were both carriers of CF.

"Do you want to terminate the pregnancy?"

Chris and I both looked at each other, not for reassurance or anything, but because we couldn't believe she had asked that question! Of course we said "NO". This pregnancy was the Lord's doing. He obviously wanted us to have this baby. One more month, and we would have ended up adopting or something. But instead, the Lord's plan came into action. And we were ready and willing to take it on, no matter what.
She then asked if we wanted to go for counseling in case the baby was born with CF. We said no. We were going to trust in God that everything would be ok. Looking back now, maybe we should have went. But we really didn't think it would happen to us. Of course, then D started nagging us to go, but you know how well I listen ;) LOL
All the while, we just kept praying that he wouldn't have CF. And if he did, we would take it step by step. And we did.
M

The BEST News EVER!

For the first part of this story, click these...
1. The Beginning of it All
2. The Nagging Begins
3. The Nagging Continued
4. The Phone Call
5. Our Options
6. The News

Well, we were both sad about the news that we were both CF carriers, and that we had to stop trying to get pregnant after trying for over a year. I kept thinking, "What if I didn't have that miscarriage in March. Would that baby have had CF? Or would they have been fine?" Only the Lord knows. And I knew the Lord had a plan for us. I just didn't know what it would be until ...

On October 7th 2006, one week after finding out my husband was a CF carrier too ........"WE'RE PREGNANT!!!" I honestly had no idea that I was pregnant! I even took the test without my husband being there, b/c I really didn't think it would be positive! To my surprise, it was positive! I was completely shocked! I didn't know what to do! Of course I had to tell my husband. He was completely shocked too. But we were both very, very, very excited!
Looking back on it now, the thought of CF didn't matter to us at this point. Whether they had CF or not, we would still love them and care for them with all our hearts.

M

The News

For the first part of this story, click these...
1. The Beginning of it All
2. The Nagging Begins
3. The Nagging Continued
4. The Phone Call
5. Our Options
I remember waiting a little to tell my husband about the call that he was a carrier of CF too, until we were alone out in the hallway in the hospital (plus, I think I was in shock at first). I wanted it to be private so I could give him a big hug and because I knew it was going to make both of us teary eyed. Which it did because we knew what that meant. We had to stop trying to get pregnant and we could never have our own child, our Lil' Chris.
Of course, he was devastated, but we both had to be strong. We don't normally show our emotions in public. He and I are very much alike in that respect. We may have shed a tear or two in the hallway, but then sucked it up and went back in the room and acted like nothing happened. I remember telling my sister-in-law about the call, and later D on the phone, but no one else. It was very hard to speak about it at that time. I acted like it was no big deal, but deep down it was killing me.
It wasn't until we got back to our room where we could finally let it all out. I remember just holding each other crying. We wanted to play the blame game on God, but we are not that type of Christians. We would never do that. We know that all things happen for a reason and that something good always comes out of something bad. You just may not realize it until later.
After about a week, after a lot of crying, we had to come to grips with it. We had to accept the fact that we wouldn't have our own child. I still don't think we ever really did, it just didn't seem right. We were ready for a child, our own child!

M

Hooked

You know, it's funny, even though I contributed to the beginning of this story I find that I'm as hooked on the new M & Big Chris updates as everyone else reading this blog! The interesting thing I think both M & I are finding is that it's much easier to share the little details about how we felt/reacted during those days in writing than it would be for us to share them in person. I'm finding out along with you the "inside story" about what my sister & her husband went through & my respect for them grows with each post. I have a much bigger mouth than M does by a mile but still none of us girls have ever been big on talking about how we feel. It gives me the shivers just to see the line "talking about how we feel" typed out! I know though that I've been a lot more open in the telling of this story as I've typed it & it's been cathartic. I saw M said in one of her comments that it's been a bit like therapy for her too. So thank you for allowing us to share with you & in so doing work out some things in our own minds.

I don't remember when it was that M called me to tell me about Big Chris' results but I do remember several conversations we had over the next few days about what they should do next. My heart was breaking for them but I wanted to be a sounding board for M to talk about what their possible options were & I tried to be as honest as I could. As M stated in her post, some of the things they had to consider were adoption, sperm donors, egg donors or in vitro. M may not have clarified this last option for you because in her mind in vitro was never really an option but I want to clarify it so there is no confusion about where both of us stand on this issue. Once M understood what the in vitro process involved - fertilizing eggs & then having them destroyed for being less than perfect - she vehemently opposed that as an option. Life is a precious gift from God at all stages. I know that's not a popular stand to take in this day & age but take it we will! It never ceases to amaze me that to honor life is ridiculed in our society today. Where have we gone America & how can we get back?

Thanks for listening tonight...please pray for M & Big Chris this week that all who are with them are healthy & that they have some great family time together! D.

Our Options

To start at the beginning of the story, click.....
1. The Beginning of it All
2. The Nagging Begins
3. The Nagging Continued
4. The Phone Call

While sitting by my sister-in-laws bedside, my cell phone rang...... it was the call that we dreaded even more than the last phone call with blood test results. Why? Because we knew that is was ok if just one of us was a carrier, but if both of us were carriers then we would have to stop trying to get pregnant and start looking at....
1. adoption
2. sperm donor
3. egg donor
4. invetro where they test them for CF before insertion (all very expensive options)
This is why it was so hard waiting for the results, because we both always wanted to have our own children. Not that we don't like adoption or anything, it's just that.........well, it's hard to explain. In a way, I guess, you just get curious as to how they will turn out. Will they have my eyes, my smile, my great sense of humor =) or will they have my husbands astonishing good looks (you're welcome honey=).
So, we thought back and forth what we would do. Never really coming up with a decision, other than stop trying to get pregnant. We knew for sure that we couldn't live with ourselves if we did this on purpose. We couldn't look into their eyes when they were having a difficult time breathing, without thinking "I'm so sorry, I don't know what we were thinking".

Well, the lady on the phone said that his test was positive, he was a CF carrier. And my heart sank yet again. The worst part was, that now I had to somehow break the news to my husband. (Wow, I just typed that last sentence looking up the whole time trying to hold back the tears.) I just remember how hard it was for me to look him in the face and tell him. I knew he would be devastated. He had wanted children ever since we got married. I was the one that wanted to wait a couple years. Here it was 3 years later and I had to tell him that we would never be able to have our own children. He would never get his Lil' Chris.

The News

The Phone Call

For the first part of this story, start here..

1. The Beginning of it All

2. The Nagging Begins

3. The Nagging Continued

So we knew that my 2 sisters, my husbands sister, and I am all CF carriers. What we didn't know was if my husband is a carrier. Since my sister is so good at being a big sister, she insisted my husband get tested right away since we were trying to get pregnant. So, on Tuesday, September 19th 2006,he got his blood work done. That Friday the 22nd, we left to go on vacation with D and her family. We had a blast! Having fun with my nieces kept our mind off the tests we were waiting for. Honestly, we really didn't know what the outcome was going to be. All we could do was pray that he wasn't a carrier, because we desperately wanted to have our own children. On Thursday the 28th, we left to go visit my husbands sister in the hospital, because she had just had her second baby. Yea!! The very next day, on September 29th 2006, while sitting at my sister-in-law's bedside in her hospital room, my cell phone rang.....

Our Options

Little Sisters Are So Funny

So now you know then. I have the worst memory of a thirty-something Mom ever. Most days I can barely remember what I did the day before let alone details from a few years ago. My kids make fun of me about it all the time. =) On top of that my mind plays tricks on me with details that I do manage to remember. I was so sure I had talked to M before my husband went for his test. Apparently the conversation I remember happened when I called to tell her that my husband's test was negative. Sometimes I think I'm losing my mind. =) M's memory is way better than mine so I'll always defer to her details of The Story. She was right that I am not typically an alarmist with the family...I wait until I have all the details before I upset anyone so her version of events makes perfect sense.

I knew of course that M was tuning me out as I nagged (yes, it was definitely nagging) her about getting tested after that but she underestimated just how persistent I can be! Looking back now, I can't say what I thought would happen (besides praying that one of them would not be a carrier) once both M & Big Chris were tested. I just felt that it was so important for them to at least know. I am not big on surprises. To have information is to be prepared but the knowing is so hard sometimes...

The Nagging Continued

Please read first - The Nagging begins...

At this time, I still didn't know what CF was. All I knew, was that it was a genetic thing and it was a bad disease. What disease isn't a bad disease? So, I started to listen to D a little bit more. She knew a lot about it, because she had researched it when she thought her son might have CF. She told me that if my husband and I ARE both CF carriers, then there is a 1 in 4 chance that our children might have CF. I still wasn't really listening to what CF was, maybe it was denial, or maybe I just didn't think it would ever happen to us. But something made me call and make an appointment to get some blood work done to find out. Maybe it was all the successful nagging :) Or maybe, she got me curious to find out, since we were trying to get pregnant again. I thought, maybe this will get her off my case, because it can't be true that we are both carriers! What are the odds in that happening?
So, I went to the doctors on September 1st 2006. Yes, I keep track of everything! I'm a lot like my dad, thank God (just kidding, mom). I actually think that's why I'm such a strong CF mommy today (thanks dad!) Okay, back to the story.... Then, on September 13th, the phone rang. It was the phone call I had heard so much about and didn't want to get. They said that I was a carrier of the most common type of CF. Of course, my heart sank. "What if D is right? What if we ARE both carriers?"

The Phone Call

The Nagging begins....

So, D's husband was not a carrier. Since both parents have to be a carrier in order for the child to have CF, they were in the clear. Yea!!

After the big scare, D called me and told me that she was a CF carrier and that I should get tested. My reaction..."Oh yeah?". (Not really listening). Then she called again saying that she found out that my other sister was a carrier too and, of course, that I SHOULD GET TESTED (starting to sound like a broken record). My reaction again..."Yeah, maybe"(with no intention whatsoever). You see, I knew if I came out and said NO, she would just push more because she was just trying to look out for us. Not worth it, so my reaction was always the same. So every time she called to nag, I really wasn't listening at all. I would kinda just block her out. Sorry D ;)
Then, one day when she called me again to nag, for some reason, I was listening to when she said Cystic Fibrosis. I thought, "Hey that sounds familiar". I told her that I thought that was the same thing that my sister-in-law was tested for with her first child. So, of course she got even MORE worried! Then I said to myself, "Oh man, why did I say anything. Now she is going to bug me even more!" She INSISTED I find out for sure. So I asked the next time I talked to my sister-in-law or my mother-in-law (can't remember which one now). They said it was the same thing and that my sister-in-law IS a CF carrier. By this time, I started remembering the scare that her and her husband had, then started thinking of the scares both my sisters had. And then, the words my sister said when I told her that my sister-in-law was a carrier too, started sticking in my head...."If his sister and your 2 sisters are all CF carriers, then most likely you both are carriers as well."

The Nagging Continued

The Beginning Of It All

I thought I'd introduce myself before I start telling my story. I'm M (apparently) and my husband is Big Chris (apparently). :) We have a 9 month old son named Christopher (after his Daddy), but we like to call him Lil' Chris. He was born with Cystic Fibrosis. That's all you're getting for now. I have to start the story somewhere! I might as well start from the beginning.

In the beginning God made the ......wait a minute, wrong story. Sorry, you'll have to get used to my sense of humor. Okay, well D got most of the story right, but here's how I remember it....

It all started about 3 years ago. I never really heard of Cystic Fibrosis (CF) until my sister-in-law got pregnant. She had the usual blood work done and didn't think anything of it (like D) until she got that phone call. She was a carrier of CF. Like D, I apologize that I was not as supportive when she got the news as I should've been. I guess I just didn't realize what CF was. I just remember feeling bad for them that they had to go through this and I just prayed for them that the baby wouldn't have it. So, her husband got tested, and thankfully he was not a carrier. This meant that the baby could definitely not have CF. Yea!!

I never heard the words Cystic Fibrosis mentioned again, until about a year and a half later when my oldest sister got pregnant with her 3rd child. She got that phone call saying she was a CF carrier. I must apologize to her as well for not being there for her like I should have. Actually, I think she didn't tell me about it until after her husband got tested. Thanks a lot D! Just kidding :) It's hard sometimes, because we live so far from each other. Knowing her, she probably didn't tell me until afterwards, because she wouldn't have wanted me to worry. She's the type of person that always thinks of others before herself, just like how she started this blog to help my son and other people out there who may be in the same situation.

Then started the nagging for me and my husband to get tested......

The Nagging Begins...

M

Now I'm on a mission

Once the shock of mine & C's diagnosis as CF carriers wore off, my prevailing concern was for my youngest sister M & her husband who were trying for another baby. I desperately wanted her to go & get tested & then of course for her husband to be tested as well. M is a very calm, cool, laid back kind of person & so is my brother in law. My sense of urgency for them was just not urgency that they felt. I'm sure she will chime in soon & tell you how I was driving her crazy! =)

I don't remember the exact details of how this next milestone came about but I know it was about 3 months after my diagnosis. M found out that her husband's sister, who was pregnant with her second child, was a carrier of the CF gene. I don't know how long M knew before she told me but I'm sure she knew what my reaction would be. I begged & pleaded for them to go & be tested. Just to be prepared I said, just to know what the possibilities were. M always maintained that it didn't matter to them. It wouldn't change anything.

Here I will change direction for a moment & tell you a little bit about M & Big Chris. This is important because it is the foundation for what you will learn through the rest of The Story. M & Big Chris met as teenagers, only recently did I hear the whole story of their first date, perhaps M will tell it to you one day. They have been inseparable ever since. They truly are one another's best friend. I am humbled by the love that is so evident in their relationship. Don't get me wrong, they're not the super demonstrative, lovey dovey type around people. It is the little ways they have with each other that let you know where they stand. They consistently put each other first, always thinking about what the other might feel, want or need. Two more in-sync people I have never met. They are not big talkers in general & certainly not about how they feel for each other. Their actions demonstrate that they face the world as one entity, supporting each other, firm in the belief that they can handle anything as long as they are together & obeying God's will in their lives. It has been an honor to watch them grow as a married couple, loving one another & serving the Lord.

Okay, back to The Story....I don't know what transpired to convince M & Big Chris that it would be beneficial for them to find out if they are carriers but, to my unending relief, M scheduled her blood work. (They will only test the husband if the wife's test comes back positive.) As we expected, it was positive that she is also a CF carrier. She took it in stride as she does everything & made an appointment for Big Chris to be tested.
My husband & I make it a habit to take our kids on one big vacation every year and often times M & Big Chris will come with us. We all love it when they come & that year, in the 7th month of my pregnancy, we went to Disney World. A little while prior to the trip Big Chris went for his blood work. You would never have known that the two of them were waiting for such a potentially life altering test result. They had a blast! Going on all the rides, playing with my kids, picking up the slack for my pregnant self & just generally enjoying their vacation. Or at least that's how it seemed to me. I love them for that... Have I mentioned that my Brother in law is great with kids? He loves mine like they were his own & so does my sister. Since the day they started talking about getting married he has talked about having kids. It was so obvious that he couldn't wait for the day when he could hold his own child in his arms. I always thought it was the sweetest thing. My heart broke for them when they miscarried their first pregnancy and I knew how much he wanted to have another child. I felt at that time that it was like the end of the carefree innocence of their youth. The harsh realities of life had hit them early & I was sad for it. I prayed & prayed that his test result would come back negative. I desperately wanted them to be carefree again...

Thanks for listening! D.

My first encounter with CF

I know it seems odd for me to start this story talking about my own personal experience but it will make sense later on as I develop the story for you. I apologize in advance for the novel that I've written on this post!!

It was my fourth pregnancy & the beginning stages of my pre-natal care with this child. This pregnancy had been different than the others from the very beginning. I was three months along & instead of being horrendously nauseated with morning (all day) sickness, I was ravenously hungry all the time & barely nauseated at all. Having miscarried my first pregnancy, I was very nervous at this change in what I knew to be standard pregnancy issue for me. Fortunately I had an early ultrasound but I won't bore you with the reasons why. Suffice it to say, the ultrasound showed the baby as being right on track and alleviated my mind a great deal. As all pregnant women do, I went for my battery of bloodwork that week & never thought another thing about it. I had two other kids to take care of & no time to worry over bloodwork that in my mind would be perfectly fine.

It was a complete surprise a few nights later when I listened to the messages on my answering machine & heard the voice of my Nurse-Midwife. It took a moment for the words she said to register in my mind. I played the message back & heard her say "Your bloodwork came back & showed that you are a carrier of Cystic Fibrosis. You'll need to bring your husband in for some bloodwork to see if he is also a carrier...". She went on & said other things but I couldn't tell you what they were. All I heard repeating in my head was "you are a carrier of Cystic Fibrosis" over & over. Immediately followed by "How can this be? I've had two other children & never heard a thing about this...". As it turns out, my last pregnancy three years earlier, was prior to the mandatory CF testing.
I am not a hysterical person but I called my husband that day about as close to hysterical as I get. Tripping over my words & trying to Google this unknown disease on our kitchen computer while I was talking, I felt fear wrapping it's hands around my heart. By the time my husband came home that night, I had pulled myself together & could talk about things somewhat rationally. The fear was still with me though. We both had done plenty of research by that point & knew what it would mean if he were also a carrier.
I have to stop here & offer an apology to my younger (middle) sister. (I don't like to use full names online, so for the purposes of this blog we will call her "C") She had just had her first baby a few months earlier & said to me "Don't you remember? They tested me for this & I was positive as a carrier too." To this day, I have no recollection of her sharing that with me. It has bothered me since we spoke that night that I could be so insensitive at a time when she & her husband undoubtedly went through the same experience that I talked about above. So, one more time, I offer my apology to C & her husband for not being more supportive to them during the early days of her pregnancy when they received this same news.

As for the story.... It was a stressful couple of days for us. Full of prayer for this unborn child and that ever so human inner struggle to accept & submit to God's will in our lives even if it wasn't what we wanted it to be. Fortunately for us, as it was for my sister C, my husband is not a CF carrier. I don't think I can describe the relief & profound thankfulness to God that flooded my being when we received the results. I couldn't wait to call & share the news with my sisters...

On the heels of that great joy however, came concern for my youngest sister, M, who had recently miscarried her first pregnancy & was actively trying to get pregnant again. The prevailing thought was, if C & I were carriers, in all liklihood M would be too...

Thanks for listening tonight....I'll catch up with you again tomorrow.

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