The News

For the first part of this story, click these...
1. The Beginning of it All
2. The Nagging Begins
3. The Nagging Continued
4. The Phone Call
5. Our Options
I remember waiting a little to tell my husband about the call that he was a carrier of CF too, until we were alone out in the hallway in the hospital (plus, I think I was in shock at first). I wanted it to be private so I could give him a big hug and because I knew it was going to make both of us teary eyed. Which it did because we knew what that meant. We had to stop trying to get pregnant and we could never have our own child, our Lil' Chris.
Of course, he was devastated, but we both had to be strong. We don't normally show our emotions in public. He and I are very much alike in that respect. We may have shed a tear or two in the hallway, but then sucked it up and went back in the room and acted like nothing happened. I remember telling my sister-in-law about the call, and later D on the phone, but no one else. It was very hard to speak about it at that time. I acted like it was no big deal, but deep down it was killing me.
It wasn't until we got back to our room where we could finally let it all out. I remember just holding each other crying. We wanted to play the blame game on God, but we are not that type of Christians. We would never do that. We know that all things happen for a reason and that something good always comes out of something bad. You just may not realize it until later.
After about a week, after a lot of crying, we had to come to grips with it. We had to accept the fact that we wouldn't have our own child. I still don't think we ever really did, it just didn't seem right. We were ready for a child, our own child!

M