Our Options

To start at the beginning of the story, click.....
1. The Beginning of it All
2. The Nagging Begins
3. The Nagging Continued
4. The Phone Call

While sitting by my sister-in-laws bedside, my cell phone rang...... it was the call that we dreaded even more than the last phone call with blood test results. Why? Because we knew that is was ok if just one of us was a carrier, but if both of us were carriers then we would have to stop trying to get pregnant and start looking at....
1. adoption
2. sperm donor
3. egg donor
4. invetro where they test them for CF before insertion (all very expensive options)
This is why it was so hard waiting for the results, because we both always wanted to have our own children. Not that we don't like adoption or anything, it's just that.........well, it's hard to explain. In a way, I guess, you just get curious as to how they will turn out. Will they have my eyes, my smile, my great sense of humor =) or will they have my husbands astonishing good looks (you're welcome honey=).
So, we thought back and forth what we would do. Never really coming up with a decision, other than stop trying to get pregnant. We knew for sure that we couldn't live with ourselves if we did this on purpose. We couldn't look into their eyes when they were having a difficult time breathing, without thinking "I'm so sorry, I don't know what we were thinking".

Well, the lady on the phone said that his test was positive, he was a CF carrier. And my heart sank yet again. The worst part was, that now I had to somehow break the news to my husband. (Wow, I just typed that last sentence looking up the whole time trying to hold back the tears.) I just remember how hard it was for me to look him in the face and tell him. I knew he would be devastated. He had wanted children ever since we got married. I was the one that wanted to wait a couple years. Here it was 3 years later and I had to tell him that we would never be able to have our own children. He would never get his Lil' Chris.

The News